I loved this. Have been thinking a lot about giving oneself permission to play. This really struck a chord with me, for that and other reasons. So you are on with your action item! Stay tuned for that Note tag....
Love what you shared about leaning into the experience of writing.
Growing up essay assignments and English classes were always where I performed the worst. So I thought I must not be a good writer.
I avoided jobs and tasks where writing played a big role.
But on the weekends, I always looked forward to my early mornings when everyone was still sleeping and journaling.
Writing is a joy for me. For years I ignored that because of external factors that made me believe I wasn’t good at it. Only recently have I come to realize that maybe I was wrong. I’m finally ready to lean into writing and sharing it with others.
I started a publication earlier this year which is based on interviewing parent creatives about how they balance their creative life with parenting. For most of the summer I was frustrated with myself for not being able to publish more often - which felt kind of ironic. Like, "here I am with this publication about being creative as a parent, and this is actually my creative thing, and I'm having a hard time balancing it with my own parenting."
Lately I've had two shifts. The first is that I'm trying to relax more. Before I was really focused on trying to publish on a biweekly cadence, and when I didn't meet that goal for several months, I felt stressed and just wanted to throw up my hands. But then a few weeks ago I decided to not worry so much and just focus on the work (which I genuinely enjoy). And lo and behold, for the first time since the publication launched I'm now several newsletters ahead in my content planning. And I've even got some ideas for new formats that will help me get these little labors of out more frequently.
Your question on "perceiving yourself as a writer" made me reflect on the second shift, which is that after years of having various creative side hustles, I can feel myself taking more ownership over my creative life and seeing myself as a genuine creative (the noun version) for the first time. My creative work is still not yet professionally viable on its own, but I feel like that subtle shift in self-perception is a first step that I have always been too nervous to take for fear of being an impostor.
I really liked the Storytelling Marketing approach you outlined. It's something I can also feel myself doing more as my view of my creative self changes. That has felt significant, but I hadn't yet found the words for it, so thank you very much for that!
I didn’t know you had struggled with infertility, Amanda. Can you direct me to any writing you’ve done about that experience?
I’ve had five miscarriages in the past three years, and finally decided to end fertility treatments and pursue adoption through foster care. I’ve been writing about it on my Substack at www.lizexplores.com.
I always enjoy connecting with others who have written about their journey with infertility.
Hi Liz! Thank you for being here and for sharing a bit about your journey with infertility. I can read between the lines and know the ways that we’ll always be a little heartsore together.
I haven’t actually published much of anything about infertility or losing our two girls. In the background I have been working on it some, the ways childloss changed my relationship to animals and the Earth. But it’s not something I feel ready to divulge in a public way yet. Thank you being here and for asking about this! 🧡
I understand, Amanda. Those stories are so tragic, it makes sense to hold them tenderly. I look forward to reading that work, if and when you are ready to share it.
Great post, Amanda. You write with so much verve! I think you could power a small town with the energy you generated here! I'm learning so much from you.
Writing feels like home to me. a place where my autistic self can dwell in safety. And as I discovered solace and catharsis there, I adapted to this nurturing environment and healed considerably more readily than I had before receiving my autism diagnosis.
Even if I shudder now that I wrote things that should have been diary entries for years, I am nonetheless thankful for that vulnerability. It is always gracious and there for me. Like an older home just in need of a bit of TLC and repair.
My perception of myself as a writer was completely altered by my autism diagnosis. I was concealing and unable to get out of my own way, and it allowed me to write as deeply as I genuinely needed to on the difficulties in my life.
I noticed that I don't really experience FOMO or feel a sense of urgency when something is being marketed to me, and that is absolutely tied to autism in my case and how I see the world.
As a result, I have never really done marketing, either as a business owner or in my writing. I have therefore been unable to market anything other than me, myself, and myself, even when my writing was of a lower standard and even now in a more experienced individual style, coming to light as being autistic. Therefore, I feel I don't have to give up marketing because I never understood it. Yes, this meant that it took me a lot longer to establish myself as a coach and consultant, but the effort has been worthwhile.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful article, which really speaks to me, Amanda. The prompts to consider why one writes on a regular basis are always helpful.
Thank you for writing such a human post about marketing as a writer. You explicitly named something that has boggled me for many years, how the skills I have as a marketer don't make sense to the way I actually connect with readers (and with customers, as was the case while running my business). This:
"Most marketing advice is not designed to help a writer’s creativity flourish. It’s really important to know this. Marketing isn’t art. Sometimes it’s artful, but that’s not the same as art. Marketing is not a channel for self actualization, greater depths of discovery and rarely is it effective at bolstering our sense of self trust. It is a tool, and it should stay in its lane. It should serve you, not topple you over."
And this--
"When we’re “decent,” it means there’s substance to work with. It means there’s some glimmering gold sneaking through our writing, but we need practice pulling more of it out."
--is one of the most encouraging things I've ever read, and I feel seen. I have long felt that I'm a decent writer, that I have raw talent, and that I just need some help understanding how to refine and sharpen my craft. Thank you for your work in encouraging people like me to keep going.
Thank you for this insight and encouragement. I’m here trying to find my voice, in the sense of figuring out what I want to write about, and also my readers. I made a goal to write weekly and in some ways that takes the pressure off - I have to put something out there and it doesn’t have to be perfect. Just write! I feel invigorated when I write and connecting with other writers makes it all the better. Can’t wait to read part 2!
Sometimes a piece of writing lands in your life at the right time, and this is one of those pieces. It really resonated with me when you referred to picking up the writing and starting again every four months - that is my writing journey in a nutshell! 😂 I feel really encouraged by your article (or maybe I should say Substack? This is my first-ever comment here 😊). Anyways, thank you for sharing this and for this encouragement! I am excited to pick up my writing again.
Happy to have you here, Olivia! Sometimes the hot potato writing is a message of what we aren’t ready or equipped to talk about, so go gently with your instincts or need for space from writing. I trust you to know when it’s right! ☀️
Thank you so much for the thoughtful reply, Amanda! You’re so right — I thinking I’m finally coming home to what I want to share and am closer to feeling ready. Thank you again for the nudge!
I love this post. I am thinking of what I loved, adored, or enjoyed playing as a child - young person. Reading (surprise!) but Sunday dinner and a program called “Family Classics”. Saturday swim meets. Summers playing card games outside of the house because no one had air conditioning.
And I’m finding such joy in this season - which is so different for me as I usually am so stressed. I better get to writing this down and playing with it for my next essay !
Well Amanda, this is my first comment on your 'Stack. I loved your essay, and read ALL the comments. There's so much here. First off, I know very little about marketing. I started my 'Stack the same time you did, June 2 2023. I had nothing to offer and nothing to bring as far as followers go. I think I had about 30-35 friends on my email. I'm retired. But all I've ever wanted to do is write. I worked 45 years in a sawmill, and was either reading, and writing, every spare moment I had. I worked on the river and sat on my boat either reading a book, or writing, and editing stories I was working on at home. I'd get up at 3:30-3:45 every morning before staring work at 6:00 am.
All I wanted to do when I retired, was write. And now I do. But having been a Blue-Collar worker, I know little about marketing, or computers; I know nothing about finances, or Science; couldn't care less about religion (even though I write about it.) But I do know how to write. I figured out the best way to get subscribers was to leave comments on other 'stacks. You have to be encouraging, and polite. You have to be willing to give advice if a newbie asks how to do something. But more than that, you have to write.
I don't write essays. Why would I do that, right? Someone might read me. No, I write fiction, and not only fiction, but long fiction. I'm in what I call, the "Novella Zone". I write stories that I want to read as a reader. I don't really write for an audience, not a specific audience. I don't write horror, or fantasy, but, I guess you'd call it Literary (although I hesitate to call it that myself.) But I feel if there's quality in the writing, readers will come. Right now, I'm trying to get PAID subscribers because I want to print up copies of my stories and send them to my subscribers. But I need about 65-70 PAID subscribers. I don't know how to market myself for that, so I just put word out on Notes once in a while, and on my posts when I put them out on SUNDAY and WEDNESDAY.
If the story is good, people will read it. I get excited at the idea process. I love the writing process. I love to layer things, and use at least one of the five senses on every page. I love dialogue. I don't plot my stories out. I just let them take me where they want to go. I don't worry about anything when I write a story. I don't care if I write something that happened fifty years ago and people find it offensive, when I know what I wrote was honest and truthful. I don't warn people about possible triggers because, well, what others think are triggers, I rarely do. I'll do it if I think about it, but I usually have to ask my daughter, and she's waaayyy to PC for me. But I still ask her. I didn't even know what Cultural Misappropriation was until she told me. By then, I'd already written a love story that takes place in Kenya during the Mau Mau uprising, another story set in Congo during Independence; a story in China during the Japaneses invasion. Now, I'm working on a story involving a gay man that takes place in Berlin and Paris on three different timelines. I write things that challenge me.
And people are still finding me, and reading me. Now, I've stepped out of my comfort zone again and started reading my pieces out. I'm actually enjoying it. I used to think I didn't have the "looks" for reading on line, or the voice. Now, I don't care. People are leaving me comments that just blow my mind. I don't get a lot, but I'm getting more now than when I first started.
As I reflect on this piece, I think I realize that I loved writing the very most back in 2010 when I started writing on-line in a blog I hoped that at least one person would read. That person: my mother. I did not feel any pressure to market what I wrote because well, I didn’t even know how to market it, and I didn’t know that marketing my writing might get it before more eyes. Not only that, I didn’t worry about whether or not my writing would be well received because I had no readers. The excitement I felt when one unknown to me reader read my words and wrote back saying my words resonated with her was all the encouragement I needed to keep on sharing my stories.
I think a lot of my writing has been corrupted by being told I had to build a platform on social media in order to find any kind of success as a writer. I’m trying to free myself from that mindset now. Thank you for this post!
I’m trying really hard not to have a goal with my new substack beyond “write consistently and see how it goes,” but I’m a marketing copywriter by training so it is absolutely a challenge not to stare at my metrics all the time. Not to mention, my best “performing” content right now is all very LinkedIn influencer style, and the one thing I know I absolutely do not want to be is a LinkedIn influencer.
So for now, I’m trying to stick with writing to the theme of “things I feel compelled to tell people,” and if that’s marketing-y, then yeah, it goes on LinkedIn, and if it’s about figure skating and I end up losing subscribers over it, that’s also good.
I went through a similar time, feeling pulled in disparate writing directions. Once I had a full-on season of musing where I basically did everything but write, and it kind of resulted in a reset. Now when I jump onto LinkedIn, which is still rare, I know instinctually I’m not writing the kinds of pieces that get traction there. But I share them anyways and move on with my day. I guess it feels a bit like confirmation that I’m going in the right direction over here. ;-)
This was deeply honest and appreciated. Thank you for this thoughtful piece. I decided to not have any expectations. Enjoy the process, the community in the comments and above all supporting other writers.
An excellent post Amanda, I can't wait for the next two!
Writing feels amazing to me! When I am in it is when I feel the best and most alive, even when it's sucky!
I don't think I've written out of desperation, however I just realized that my best performing post was written while I was in survival mode a my Mom's deathbed so maybe there is something to that I have never explored. Certainly when I can get out of my own way and allow the real, raw me to get through it resonates deeply, just as the same applies to the writers I love to read.
I know very little about marketing but have found that when I focus on the articles other folks write about their Substack numbers and the tricks they do and the tweaking etc. that I don't feel good. I feel "less than" inside, like I am doing something wrong. By no means is this the fault of the other writers, rather it's something in me. I am learning to stay away from that kind of thing. I quickly scroll Notes looking for interesting things to read and comment on rather than things about numbers or marketing. So, my new marketing from scratch is to do none of it! That being said, at some point I will need to put on my adult hat and look at my own analytics to get some sort of a plan because I do want some kind of a lovely growth strategy that feels good to me!
In many ways, you're probably primed for a happy writing journey precisely because you haven't gotten bogged down in the muck of writing for google and likes and algorithms. The best feeling of marketing I've been able to define is casting out a net, or sending out invitations. As long as there's a clear, accessible central hub or gathering space where people can find you, read what you're all about and engage, you're using a lot of the same muscles on repeat. Just in different settings, with different offerings and approaches. Write your stuff, cast the net, shake the hand, be a friend. ☀️
I love that you cast out a net. I always picture like a sunbeam (this was even before I wrote The Bright Life, but now it's even more powerful!), there are many rays of light going out to whoever needs them most.
I loved this. Have been thinking a lot about giving oneself permission to play. This really struck a chord with me, for that and other reasons. So you are on with your action item! Stay tuned for that Note tag....
Love what you shared about leaning into the experience of writing.
Growing up essay assignments and English classes were always where I performed the worst. So I thought I must not be a good writer.
I avoided jobs and tasks where writing played a big role.
But on the weekends, I always looked forward to my early mornings when everyone was still sleeping and journaling.
Writing is a joy for me. For years I ignored that because of external factors that made me believe I wasn’t good at it. Only recently have I come to realize that maybe I was wrong. I’m finally ready to lean into writing and sharing it with others.
I started a publication earlier this year which is based on interviewing parent creatives about how they balance their creative life with parenting. For most of the summer I was frustrated with myself for not being able to publish more often - which felt kind of ironic. Like, "here I am with this publication about being creative as a parent, and this is actually my creative thing, and I'm having a hard time balancing it with my own parenting."
Lately I've had two shifts. The first is that I'm trying to relax more. Before I was really focused on trying to publish on a biweekly cadence, and when I didn't meet that goal for several months, I felt stressed and just wanted to throw up my hands. But then a few weeks ago I decided to not worry so much and just focus on the work (which I genuinely enjoy). And lo and behold, for the first time since the publication launched I'm now several newsletters ahead in my content planning. And I've even got some ideas for new formats that will help me get these little labors of out more frequently.
Your question on "perceiving yourself as a writer" made me reflect on the second shift, which is that after years of having various creative side hustles, I can feel myself taking more ownership over my creative life and seeing myself as a genuine creative (the noun version) for the first time. My creative work is still not yet professionally viable on its own, but I feel like that subtle shift in self-perception is a first step that I have always been too nervous to take for fear of being an impostor.
I really liked the Storytelling Marketing approach you outlined. It's something I can also feel myself doing more as my view of my creative self changes. That has felt significant, but I hadn't yet found the words for it, so thank you very much for that!
I didn’t know you had struggled with infertility, Amanda. Can you direct me to any writing you’ve done about that experience?
I’ve had five miscarriages in the past three years, and finally decided to end fertility treatments and pursue adoption through foster care. I’ve been writing about it on my Substack at www.lizexplores.com.
I always enjoy connecting with others who have written about their journey with infertility.
Hi Liz! Thank you for being here and for sharing a bit about your journey with infertility. I can read between the lines and know the ways that we’ll always be a little heartsore together.
I haven’t actually published much of anything about infertility or losing our two girls. In the background I have been working on it some, the ways childloss changed my relationship to animals and the Earth. But it’s not something I feel ready to divulge in a public way yet. Thank you being here and for asking about this! 🧡
I understand, Amanda. Those stories are so tragic, it makes sense to hold them tenderly. I look forward to reading that work, if and when you are ready to share it.
Great post, Amanda. You write with so much verve! I think you could power a small town with the energy you generated here! I'm learning so much from you.
Writing feels like home to me. a place where my autistic self can dwell in safety. And as I discovered solace and catharsis there, I adapted to this nurturing environment and healed considerably more readily than I had before receiving my autism diagnosis.
Even if I shudder now that I wrote things that should have been diary entries for years, I am nonetheless thankful for that vulnerability. It is always gracious and there for me. Like an older home just in need of a bit of TLC and repair.
My perception of myself as a writer was completely altered by my autism diagnosis. I was concealing and unable to get out of my own way, and it allowed me to write as deeply as I genuinely needed to on the difficulties in my life.
I noticed that I don't really experience FOMO or feel a sense of urgency when something is being marketed to me, and that is absolutely tied to autism in my case and how I see the world.
As a result, I have never really done marketing, either as a business owner or in my writing. I have therefore been unable to market anything other than me, myself, and myself, even when my writing was of a lower standard and even now in a more experienced individual style, coming to light as being autistic. Therefore, I feel I don't have to give up marketing because I never understood it. Yes, this meant that it took me a lot longer to establish myself as a coach and consultant, but the effort has been worthwhile.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful article, which really speaks to me, Amanda. The prompts to consider why one writes on a regular basis are always helpful.
Cool! I'll post something tonight and tomorrow for you!
I meant "tonight OR tomorrow." Lol!
Thank you for writing such a human post about marketing as a writer. You explicitly named something that has boggled me for many years, how the skills I have as a marketer don't make sense to the way I actually connect with readers (and with customers, as was the case while running my business). This:
"Most marketing advice is not designed to help a writer’s creativity flourish. It’s really important to know this. Marketing isn’t art. Sometimes it’s artful, but that’s not the same as art. Marketing is not a channel for self actualization, greater depths of discovery and rarely is it effective at bolstering our sense of self trust. It is a tool, and it should stay in its lane. It should serve you, not topple you over."
And this--
"When we’re “decent,” it means there’s substance to work with. It means there’s some glimmering gold sneaking through our writing, but we need practice pulling more of it out."
--is one of the most encouraging things I've ever read, and I feel seen. I have long felt that I'm a decent writer, that I have raw talent, and that I just need some help understanding how to refine and sharpen my craft. Thank you for your work in encouraging people like me to keep going.
Thank you for this insight and encouragement. I’m here trying to find my voice, in the sense of figuring out what I want to write about, and also my readers. I made a goal to write weekly and in some ways that takes the pressure off - I have to put something out there and it doesn’t have to be perfect. Just write! I feel invigorated when I write and connecting with other writers makes it all the better. Can’t wait to read part 2!
Sometimes a piece of writing lands in your life at the right time, and this is one of those pieces. It really resonated with me when you referred to picking up the writing and starting again every four months - that is my writing journey in a nutshell! 😂 I feel really encouraged by your article (or maybe I should say Substack? This is my first-ever comment here 😊). Anyways, thank you for sharing this and for this encouragement! I am excited to pick up my writing again.
Happy to have you here, Olivia! Sometimes the hot potato writing is a message of what we aren’t ready or equipped to talk about, so go gently with your instincts or need for space from writing. I trust you to know when it’s right! ☀️
Thank you so much for the thoughtful reply, Amanda! You’re so right — I thinking I’m finally coming home to what I want to share and am closer to feeling ready. Thank you again for the nudge!
I love this post. I am thinking of what I loved, adored, or enjoyed playing as a child - young person. Reading (surprise!) but Sunday dinner and a program called “Family Classics”. Saturday swim meets. Summers playing card games outside of the house because no one had air conditioning.
And I’m finding such joy in this season - which is so different for me as I usually am so stressed. I better get to writing this down and playing with it for my next essay !
Well Amanda, this is my first comment on your 'Stack. I loved your essay, and read ALL the comments. There's so much here. First off, I know very little about marketing. I started my 'Stack the same time you did, June 2 2023. I had nothing to offer and nothing to bring as far as followers go. I think I had about 30-35 friends on my email. I'm retired. But all I've ever wanted to do is write. I worked 45 years in a sawmill, and was either reading, and writing, every spare moment I had. I worked on the river and sat on my boat either reading a book, or writing, and editing stories I was working on at home. I'd get up at 3:30-3:45 every morning before staring work at 6:00 am.
All I wanted to do when I retired, was write. And now I do. But having been a Blue-Collar worker, I know little about marketing, or computers; I know nothing about finances, or Science; couldn't care less about religion (even though I write about it.) But I do know how to write. I figured out the best way to get subscribers was to leave comments on other 'stacks. You have to be encouraging, and polite. You have to be willing to give advice if a newbie asks how to do something. But more than that, you have to write.
I don't write essays. Why would I do that, right? Someone might read me. No, I write fiction, and not only fiction, but long fiction. I'm in what I call, the "Novella Zone". I write stories that I want to read as a reader. I don't really write for an audience, not a specific audience. I don't write horror, or fantasy, but, I guess you'd call it Literary (although I hesitate to call it that myself.) But I feel if there's quality in the writing, readers will come. Right now, I'm trying to get PAID subscribers because I want to print up copies of my stories and send them to my subscribers. But I need about 65-70 PAID subscribers. I don't know how to market myself for that, so I just put word out on Notes once in a while, and on my posts when I put them out on SUNDAY and WEDNESDAY.
If the story is good, people will read it. I get excited at the idea process. I love the writing process. I love to layer things, and use at least one of the five senses on every page. I love dialogue. I don't plot my stories out. I just let them take me where they want to go. I don't worry about anything when I write a story. I don't care if I write something that happened fifty years ago and people find it offensive, when I know what I wrote was honest and truthful. I don't warn people about possible triggers because, well, what others think are triggers, I rarely do. I'll do it if I think about it, but I usually have to ask my daughter, and she's waaayyy to PC for me. But I still ask her. I didn't even know what Cultural Misappropriation was until she told me. By then, I'd already written a love story that takes place in Kenya during the Mau Mau uprising, another story set in Congo during Independence; a story in China during the Japaneses invasion. Now, I'm working on a story involving a gay man that takes place in Berlin and Paris on three different timelines. I write things that challenge me.
And people are still finding me, and reading me. Now, I've stepped out of my comfort zone again and started reading my pieces out. I'm actually enjoying it. I used to think I didn't have the "looks" for reading on line, or the voice. Now, I don't care. People are leaving me comments that just blow my mind. I don't get a lot, but I'm getting more now than when I first started.
Marketing is not art! Thank you for that.
As I reflect on this piece, I think I realize that I loved writing the very most back in 2010 when I started writing on-line in a blog I hoped that at least one person would read. That person: my mother. I did not feel any pressure to market what I wrote because well, I didn’t even know how to market it, and I didn’t know that marketing my writing might get it before more eyes. Not only that, I didn’t worry about whether or not my writing would be well received because I had no readers. The excitement I felt when one unknown to me reader read my words and wrote back saying my words resonated with her was all the encouragement I needed to keep on sharing my stories.
I think a lot of my writing has been corrupted by being told I had to build a platform on social media in order to find any kind of success as a writer. I’m trying to free myself from that mindset now. Thank you for this post!
I’m trying really hard not to have a goal with my new substack beyond “write consistently and see how it goes,” but I’m a marketing copywriter by training so it is absolutely a challenge not to stare at my metrics all the time. Not to mention, my best “performing” content right now is all very LinkedIn influencer style, and the one thing I know I absolutely do not want to be is a LinkedIn influencer.
So for now, I’m trying to stick with writing to the theme of “things I feel compelled to tell people,” and if that’s marketing-y, then yeah, it goes on LinkedIn, and if it’s about figure skating and I end up losing subscribers over it, that’s also good.
I went through a similar time, feeling pulled in disparate writing directions. Once I had a full-on season of musing where I basically did everything but write, and it kind of resulted in a reset. Now when I jump onto LinkedIn, which is still rare, I know instinctually I’m not writing the kinds of pieces that get traction there. But I share them anyways and move on with my day. I guess it feels a bit like confirmation that I’m going in the right direction over here. ;-)
This was deeply honest and appreciated. Thank you for this thoughtful piece. I decided to not have any expectations. Enjoy the process, the community in the comments and above all supporting other writers.
An excellent post Amanda, I can't wait for the next two!
Writing feels amazing to me! When I am in it is when I feel the best and most alive, even when it's sucky!
I don't think I've written out of desperation, however I just realized that my best performing post was written while I was in survival mode a my Mom's deathbed so maybe there is something to that I have never explored. Certainly when I can get out of my own way and allow the real, raw me to get through it resonates deeply, just as the same applies to the writers I love to read.
I know very little about marketing but have found that when I focus on the articles other folks write about their Substack numbers and the tricks they do and the tweaking etc. that I don't feel good. I feel "less than" inside, like I am doing something wrong. By no means is this the fault of the other writers, rather it's something in me. I am learning to stay away from that kind of thing. I quickly scroll Notes looking for interesting things to read and comment on rather than things about numbers or marketing. So, my new marketing from scratch is to do none of it! That being said, at some point I will need to put on my adult hat and look at my own analytics to get some sort of a plan because I do want some kind of a lovely growth strategy that feels good to me!
In many ways, you're probably primed for a happy writing journey precisely because you haven't gotten bogged down in the muck of writing for google and likes and algorithms. The best feeling of marketing I've been able to define is casting out a net, or sending out invitations. As long as there's a clear, accessible central hub or gathering space where people can find you, read what you're all about and engage, you're using a lot of the same muscles on repeat. Just in different settings, with different offerings and approaches. Write your stuff, cast the net, shake the hand, be a friend. ☀️
I love that you cast out a net. I always picture like a sunbeam (this was even before I wrote The Bright Life, but now it's even more powerful!), there are many rays of light going out to whoever needs them most.